Men are from Mars. Women are from Venus. Men and women are unique, but the truth is they are both from Earth. Formed by the hand of God, given life by the breath of God, man and woman were never meant to be aliens to each other. God created man and set him over the Garden of Eden to tend it. But the Lord saw that it was NOT good for man to be alone and decided to give Adam a helper suitable for him. Then with one of Adam's own ribs, he formed woman.(Genesis 2:18-22). The truth is man and woman were created together in the Garden of Eden. And God saw that it was very good. So what happened?

Sin entered in. From that first bite into the forbidden fruit to this very day, sin has encroached upon the heart of both man and woman alike. So much so that we now believe men and women come from distant planets! The goal of the enemy is to divide and conquer and no marriage is safe. The devastation in this nation is obvious, just take a look at recent divorce statistics. So what ever are we to do? Are we to live at the mercy of sin? Of our enemy? No way! Jesus came to forgive sin and crush the works of the enemy. So why then are so many Christian marriages in trouble?

Tough question. Tougher answer. The answer is still sin. Jesus came to forgive sin not eliminate it. When we accept the atonement of His precious blood we are cleansed from all sin, however we are not removed from temptations. We continue to sin. Let's face it, we sin everyday, and sin is the root cause of every divorce, every fractured heart. How do we overcome sin? By the blood of the Lamb. How does that translate into our relationships? How about a story?

Several years ago my husband Tony and I were away on a marriage conference. It was a great conference. Hey just being away from the kids for a weekend was great! Then it happened. I don't remember what started it. I don't even remember the issue that at the time seemed so important. But there we were in our hotel room, "discussing". I was hurt. Tony was at a loss. The tension kept building when finally out of pure desperation I said, "Let's pray". We had reached an impasse and I had no idea what to do. But praise God, we remembered to turn to Him. We bowed our heads and invited the Holy Spirit to intervene, to give us godly wisdom. Within moments a scripture verse ran through my head and I opened my bible. The tears coursed down my face as I read the words that healed my wounded soul. The issue I had been wrestling with was not a marital issue at all, but something that had wounded me as a child. There were deep needs in me that could only be met by my heavenly Father.

How often do we place expectations on our beloved that they can never meet? Do you have needs that seem to always go unmet? Perhaps we are going to the wrong source. God gave us our mates as a help, and I believe that is what we should be doing. Helping each other to be all that God created us to be. Helping each other to know Him more. Helping with practical things like rearing children and mowing lawns. But our deepest needs for emotional security, unconditional love, acceptance, forgiveness, grace and mercy are best met by our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

With the recent move to Nashville, our family has undergone tremendous stress and tension. With an international adoption around the corner, there is more stress to come. We found ourselves becoming increasingly short tempered, angry, resentful, sarcastic, distant. Then, by God's grace, we began to see what was really happening. The stress of our recent circumstances revealed to us weaknesses in our marriage. Holes in the walls. Places where the enemy could gain access. When we realized our plight, we sought the Lord. We realized that only He could restore peace and order to our lives. Only He could defend us against the onslaught. We had been neglecting one of the most treasured gifts God has given us, each other.

The answer wasn't to take a romantic cruise (although not a bad idea), or go out on date nights, or read the latest marriage manual. The solution was simple, we needed to put God first in our marriage. We needed to spend time in prayer for each other, both together and alone. We needed to fast and pray for the strength of our relationship. We needed to be more aware of our own sinful behavior. Quick to repent and ask forgiveness both from God and from each other. These are no- brainers, right? Then why don't we do them more consistently? The effort required will yield priceless results.

The war against marriage is real. The stakes are high. Future generations will be affected. This is no time to relax. Our enemy is relentless. He roams the earth seeking those he may devour. He knows his time is growing short. Most of us would like to pretend that everything is OK. Pretending won't protect your marriage. Jesus will. Call on him today.

What ever condition your marriage is in, don't despair. Jesus came to redeem our lives. Surrender it all to Him. If you have suffered a divorce or are in the midst of one now, do not be burdened once again with guilt, shame, anger, regret. Jesus is still the great redeemer, able to bring beauty from ashes, turning mourning into gladness. He will mend your broken heart and restore shattered lives.

This winter why not snuggle under a cozy quilt with your beloved . . . and pray? May you walk in His grace. Thy kingdom come!

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